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Focusing on the snap shot

November 21, 2011

There are times when we are told to focus on the big picture.  To not get so caught up in the little things that we forget about what we are really working towards.  But I like to get caught up in the snap shot of now. Of today.

 

A few days ago Rett started answering ‘What’s your name?’ without a prompt to respond.  We were saying ‘What’s your name? say ‘I’m Rett!’ ‘   But now he knows the answer to the question.   And he can just respond.  Does he do it every time? No.  But this is just a snap shot.  I feel like I can hold this tiny picture in my hand and ignore all the things he can’t do. Just for a little while.

 

Today Rett was requesting so much more then he was prior to starting therapy.  His requesting is less whiny.  He understands how to pick out the noun from you describing the options.  Today we see progress.   A little snap shot to hold on to.

 

Tomorrow can be very scary when you have an autistic child.  I do not know what tomorrow looks like.  I don’t know if it involves him getting married. Or getting a job. Or being able to have his own house and maintain a normal life.  People can lie.  They can tell me he will. But nobody knows.  I’ve read the stories of kids that were worse off then Rett that go far.  And kids that were better off then Rett that regress.  Kids that lose all language after 3.   Parents that watch a walking shell of a little boy they loved walk around.   Today my son can talk.  And smile.  And want hugs.  You can’t guarantee me tomorrow.

 

I have to remind myself to focus on the day.  On the small triumphs we both make.  The work we do is hard.  Its hard for me to watch him struggle and force him to do things he doesn’t want to do and seemingly can’t do.  Its hard for me to believe in him sometimes.   Its hard for him to find the words.  Its hard to stay focused.  So many things are hard for him.  And you can’t guarantee me that they will get easier.   You can’t guarantee me that we are doing the right things.  Or the best things.

 

Life does not come with guarantees.  If you have an autistic child or not.   It doesn’t work that way.  So when the big picture gets too overwhelming, pull out the snap shots.  They make up the big picture in the end.

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