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What my son has taught me in 3 years

December 1, 2011

Poor firstborns.  They are stuck with us parents who hardly know what to do with the newborn child.   Besides attempt to dodge the pee, hold onto their slippery little bodies in the tub and worry over every snore that sounds slightly different then how he always did before. But Rett has been a patient teacher.  He has taught me how to be a mom.


I used to be sad that Rett didn’t seem to grasp the concept of holidays like other kids.  Last year on our online baby board the kids seemed excited for their birthdays. They knew they were getting cake and a party and presents. Rett woke up one day and all this attention was lavished on him but he had no clue.  Christmas, Halloween, Valentine’s Day.. it was all the same.  No matter how much excitement and build up I mustered, he still wasn’t reminding me or bugging me or asking me when _____ Day was.   I wanted him to be ‘normal’.


Today was his 3rd  birthday.  THIS was the year I have been looking forward to.  I felt like this year he would ‘get’ a lot of the holidays. And he has definitely been more into them this year. Just not how I expected. But today I was thankful for him the way he is.


When it was my birthday as a child, I woke up with expectation of what other people should or would do to make it special.  I knew there would be cake and presents and a birthday dinner.  If there wasn’t, I would have been hurt.


Rett woke up today with no expectation.  He smiled when I walked in the door and was happy to see me because I’m his mama, not because he expected cake and presents and a big special day.   And all day while we did our best to make it about him, he had no expectations for us to do that.  He was just happy and excited and probably a bit confused.  We did tell him it was his birthday but to him, that doesn’t register.


And we could ALL learn something from Rett.  For Rett, Christmas is about putting up a pretty tree in the living room. And lots of boxes with awesome pictures to identify (presents).  He never asks to open them or tries.   Christmas is about the magic of Santa and lights on the houses.  Its about all the things that we lose sight of sometimes.


I was given a gift. A child that expects nothing from me.  The gifts and an entire day revolving around him were unexpected, unanticipated, unasked for.  I didn’t feel obligated to do certain or certain thing.    How many other parents can say that?


Eventually this may change.  He may understand that he can ask for things and expect things.  But I don’t want to rush it now.  His pure spirit is something to be treasured and seen for what it is,   the gift God has given me in my son.  Today, I am so thankful for him.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Tammy permalink
    December 1, 2011 11:19 pm

    Beautiful tribute to your little boy, Laura! WHat a great mom he has!!!

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