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Been here, done this… pass the ice cream

July 15, 2012

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‘I will praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands, for You are who You are – no matter where I am. And every tear I’ve cried, You hold in Your hands. And though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.’ – Casting Crowns

I signed Evie and Thad up for a Sibling Study at the Marcus Autism School here in Atlanta.  Basically they are observing children from a very young age and making observations so that when they turn out to be autistic later on, they can look back at their data and see if they can find any EARLY indicators. The earlier the treatment, the better!  Because having an autistic sibling increases your odds so much, this pool of kids has a much higher chance of being autistic so having them on a watch from day 1 can really give the study some good results.  Everything is free, actually they are paying me to do this. I didn’t really know that but hey, whatever funds my baby gap addiction, I’m game.

And… I think we may get a diagnosis for Evie.  I’m expecting probably another PDD-NOS diagnosis.  She’s got low eye contact, hard to get her attention during preferred activities, hand flapping, and perhaps showing signs of hyperlexia.  She learned almost all her letter sounds in a matter of 3 weeks.  From watching the Letter Factory dvd. And no, I don’t think that this is because she’s watching Rett. I don’t think you can ‘learn’ to have low eye contact. Or you can learn your letters from someone who doesn’t even know their own.  And Rett’s hand flapping is EXTREMELY low.  I don’t even notice when he does it really.

So what does this mean? Heck if I know! I’m still learning what life is like with one autistic child.  Evie won’t have the speech or play delay we are currently dealing with with Rett so I have no idea what this means.  Evie is receiving the ADOS, which is what Rett received back in October. Its been almost a whole year and I’m back to this point of watching another one of my children be evaluated.  And I’ll be ok.  I’ve been here, I’ve done this and I lived to see another day.  Will there be tears, yes. Will I be completely overwhelmed with what will the future look like now for my baby girl, yes.  Will I get over it, move on and help her however she needs it, yes.

I’m thinking back and remembering when people would say ‘Well now that you have Evie, you must be thinking of how different it is from when Rett was a baby’ and I remember thinking that it really wasn’t. And that this was somehow a sign of how ‘normal’ Rett seemed for so long. But now.. I wonder. If instead it was a sign of how similar they were as babies because they are both autistic.  Thad is so different than them both.  The way he laughs and interacts, he’s just so much more fun to play with. Even though they all did laugh, smile and interact… there’s a difference you can’t quite put your finger on.

And while it would be nice if the world would pause and let me play catch up with my thoughts and emotions, it won’t. So please pass the ice cream while I settle in for another one of life’s storms.  But this time, I brought my rain gear.

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