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Autism Study: Good for society, bad for my psyche

August 15, 2012

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Today was Thad’s 6 month eye tracking and general skills overview for the Marcus Autism Center.  I was just there last week getting Evie’s diagnosis.  To say I was excited to go back would be a down right lie. But I have to think of the future mom in my shoes that may be able to get her second baby checked with this eye tracking software after her first is diagnosed.  It is worth it.

It is worth it. But it is hard.  During the skill overview portion of it they ask you questions that are both below and above your child’s ability. Some of them are pretty apparent above his ability ‘Is he turning doorknobs?’  And yes they know there is no way a 6 month old should be turning doorknobs but they have to ask you all this stuff.  Unfortunately some of the time it isn’t easy to tell what is on level and I sit there thinking.. should he be doing this? Is this a bad sign? Is that a bad sign?

Thad startles easy to loud noises. He always has.  He will sort of blink hard and ‘jump’.  He used to cry when I would talk to Tom in the other room because I had to raise my voice so loudly. He doesn’t do that anymore. But is that a bad sign? She asked me if this startling was common for him.  Sigh.  Seriously?  Sigh.

Should a 6 month old be picking up cheerios? Taking things in and out of containers? Should they recognize words by now? (ie. where’s daddy? and they look for daddy).   Half of these questions make me want to crawl in a hole.  Do I seriously need to be working with my 6 month old to get him caught up?

And then at the end. Probably the most heartbreaking of all. ‘Well he has great eye contact and is so smiley.  ‘Yah, so were my other two kids.’    Because autism isn’t how you picture it will be.  Its sneaky.  I’m sort of glad our next appointment isn’t until 9 months.  Maybe my mommy analyzer will go dormant for awhile until the next appointment.  I really hope that they get something from our participation in the study. Because watching your child be tested never gets easier.

 

And I know some people will think I’m crazy for over analyzing Thad.  Probably the same morons that thought that when it was Evie.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Kate permalink
    August 15, 2012 3:53 am

    This is very similar to our neurodevelopmental checkup 6-months post-hospital. So I’ll tell you what we learned since it all went well. Cheerios–not yet, but it’s time to start working on the finer motor skills like this. Recognize words–no, a name or two is good. Our nurse was happy that he recognized his own name, and he got extra points for seeming to recognize the dog’s name. He doesn’t know anyone else’s. Containers–we didn’t do this. They also spent a lot of time on looking at new objects instead of old ones and various motor development skills. Anyway, it sounds like our boys had similar results, and the nurse we worked with was very happy with them.

  2. lauralea1018 permalink*
    August 15, 2012 12:55 pm

    Thanks Kate!

  3. Kayla permalink
    August 15, 2012 1:16 pm

    I wish I could give you a hug. I’m so glad you’re documenting your journey, and I know nothing that I could say will ever help or comfort you, but I wish I could just hug you right now.

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