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Frustration

September 21, 2013

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After a year of being here, a re-eval, paying someone to look over my papers, re-filling out everything, taking it to the pediatrician, picking it up from the pediatrician, getting her birth certificate from Oklahoma, I drove 30 minutes to drop off Evie’s deeming waiver packet in person.  And I just got the letter in the mail of all the things I’m missing.  Which were there in the packet I dropped off. Almost half of it. Missing.  It makes you want to scream.

I feel like there are all these hoops I have to jump through.  And even if I do jump through them, somehow it STILL isn’t enough.  I’ve tried calling our case manager twice, its went to his voicemail which he hasn’t returned my call yet although it promises that he will within 24 hours and now his voicemail box is full.  I have a deadline when I have to have all this back up there or I will get an immediate denial.   So now I can’t sleep thinking if I should just go ahead and re-print and get signatures again or if its worth the effort of talking to him first.

This entire process is frustrating and confusing.  And the worst part is I’m pretty sure Evie is going to get denied. At least we’ll have the Easter Seals money but who knows how long that will exist.  They already cut our money once which isn’t a good sign to me.

And this time I’m dealing with both at once since I also dropped off Rett’s, got a letter about missing something which included something she said she had but who knows if she’ll remember that and I might get an automatic denial if I don’t call her pretty soon and remind her of the paperwork she has.

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Right now I feel a lot like Evie looks when you tell her so smile.  Pretty fake.  I fake happy and fake involved and fake organized because in reality I am so overwhelmed, depressed and needing a break.   At least Evie is cute when she does her fake smile.   I know that once I get it all settled I’ll feel better but it seems like so many overwhelming things happen at once and trying to juggle it all is exhausting!  I’m hoping in the end its all going to be worth it and Evie can get some support for her speech issues.   Just another mountain to climb!

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